Sunday was another flare up with Timmy, a story for another day. Since last week I have been attempting to track down "Lacie" the 14 year old girl who lost her premature baby. She's been avoiding seeing me, her mom thinks because she's scared to talk, to have that freedom. I was doing some calls with my friend and one led us to the clinic. I was surprised to see Lacie there with her friend. I told her I had been looking for her, I was happy to hear she knew. This means she knows I care. I confirm a trip to the beach this weekend... I'm not taking no for an answer, and she agrees.
I'm happy to be being tossed around between Shelby and my friend "A" who works with young kids an new moms. In between their schedules today I had some time to visit with a girl who came to see if we had medicine to make her feel better. She wasn't feeling well and was sent home from school, but came to the yellow house. We had nothing but tea and I had time, so we sat and talked. She is in 11th grade, wants to be a doctor, loves Jesus! He is her "hero and mentor" :) She is staying with a family friend, but needs foster parents. She has no family or support aside from all her "auntie" can provide. A sweet bright girl who I just wanna give a home to.
After she left for home some girls who hang by the "tulip" flats were hanging out, sitting on the tires. I walked over having nothing to do, and began to chat. One of them I had told I would bring to the beach, and a few of her friends. Sassy I call her cuz she is quite that. So we sit and talk, play music, and sing haha. A few more girls walk up and bring us a fruit that grows from the trees, it's yellow, sour and yummy. I can't help but notice two of the girls staring at me weird and I tease them, we all are teasing each other am laughing. I ask "why are you staring at me like I'm an alien?! Haha last I checked I didn't have green skin." They laughed "because your a white girl sitting with us, just hanging out... It never happens". I was shocked. These girls live right outside the yellow house and are shocked that I am happy to be just hanging out with them. It's strange for me, I'm brand new here and apparently crossing new lines that are invisible and were never really there but in a mental way. I love it. Now all I want to do is just go find a million girls hang out all day with them and end with a bible study. It's so simple but seems like an effective way to reach people.
New exciting things God is bringing amongst the group! For now....
- MsSpeaker Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, 31 July 2013
Friday, 26 July 2013
The Last Few Days..
A few stories for you, examples of the dire need for a safe house here in the valley, and why i need help raising money.
Wednesday. We were having our morning prayer team meeting in the yellow house, when a woman comes to the door. Two of out friends go outside to speak with her, find out what help she needs. Its quick and soon enough they whisk her away. We follow the prayer meeting with more meetings with the schools and social workers, and carry on throughout the day.
Yesterday. After our prayer meeting I sit awaiting the next step, when the woman comes back with a back pack. She has been being horribly abused for years by her boyfriend, addicted to tick with him until her daughter was taken away. It was then she made a break for freedom. She made the choice to get out of the relationship, get clean, follow Jesus, and get her daughter back. Her back pack has all she will have for weeks to come. The next step is finding her a safe place to stay while a rehab solution is figured out. It can't be in Ocean View, OV is too small, someone will tell someone where she is and her plan foiled. Another need for a safe house.
Today. We hear of a young girl who can't take living at home anymore. Her mother is a drug dealer, and the men that come into their home threaten and abuse her, she has no relief. she needs a safe place to go but there are no safe houses.... This is another case I give you as an example for how much I need to raise money for a safe house.
After the meeting. We have a list of high school kids and their addresses that haven't come back to school since the first quarter, and we are going to speak to each one of them. Getting them back in school will help keep them off the streets, and possibly get them a grant to college. The drop out rate is extremely high, parents are unsupportive, and often don't care if their child has dropped out. The third house we stop at... 10th grade girl. We are invited in and sit, and inform the grandmother why we are here. She tells us that the girl we have come to speak with (we will call her Laci), had a baby, but it died after a month, and this is why she hasn't come back. Laci comes and sits, we make small talk, ask her how old she is... she is 14. We ask her if she has spoken to anyone about the baby, she freezes, traumatized by the thought, and says "no". She continues to say she doesn't want to speak to anyone, it won't help, and so on. We leave on the note that i am picking her up tomorrow to go to the beach. Prayers are always appreciated!
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
On a lighter note
Yesterday was one of our cases birthdays! He turned 5, we came to his little party with a cake and it was lovely. I made new little friends and chased them around the streets with a dead snake.... Apparently not expected by the drug dealers on the corner laughing and shocked by the sight of a white American with green hair chasing children with a dead snake in a township of South Africa. I think I might be the first lol. Smiles are an amazing remedy even when your painfully ill. Seeing Timmy smile when we visited him at school today was such a relief. It's been a few days since he has shown his shy smile we have come to love. This boy just needs a safe place to live. Pray for encounters of the Lords will tomorrow.
Monday, 22 July 2013
Ocean View
You would think such a beautiful place, with a beautiful view of the sea would bring happiness to people. That though at one point persecuted, their new found freedom would encourage them to thrive; not in Ocean View. Government housing apartment blocks and small houses are over ruled by the shacks built out of tin and wood. Often 4-9 people live in a single "windy", or multiple families in one room of these tiny flats. The children run around outside in the dirt and broken glass, wearing the same clothes as the previous 3 days, many of them are clearly malnourished, have rotting or missing teeth.
All this seems like the typical donate to children add, but its the secrets of a town that truly make this place in need. Most parents hide in their shacks and flats leaving their children to fend for themselves while they binge on Tik. Tik is crystal methamphetamine, it is the main drug of abuse in Cape Town area, even when alcohol is included. It is highly addictive and creates long term side effects including anxiety, depression, suicide, violent behavior, etc. Alcohol and weed are also widely abused in Ocean View; people lost inside themselves. All these elements lead to naughty behavior beginning at an unbelievably young age, and abuse amongst each other. Abuse is either seen by them or has been inflicted upon them, causing them to return the treatment to others. Kids grow up beating, raping, stealing, and abusing substances here and it is looked upon as normal. its not a matter of if these things will happen, its just a matter of when. Even when mothers strain to support and protect their children, it seems unavoidable.
The first thing you want to do when you come across another case is be angry, angry and the perpetrator when you see the sorrow in the victims eyes. You can't though, because you know it has to have been influenced upon them. Overwhelming is an understatement, however, nothing is too much for our Lord. To see the hope in each child build, and to see them smile bigger than you've ever seen is enough to know every little bit matters. BUT more is needed....
The dream is to have safe houses for these children being abused, especially the special needs children, and the children living with their perpetrators. An escape from the slum that has kept them in the vicious cycle of the generations before. Ideally a compound sort of idea, property with a couple safe houses. Split between more permanent residences, and some for temporary relief. To give them love, encouragement, skills, knowledge of the potential of life! How amazing is the dream we have to give special needs kids a place to run around freely in safety, and abused children won't be scared to build relationships. Hopefully giving the proper nutrient filled diets that they have been lacking, to escape the visual influence of a culture so corrupt.
More information on how to help us raise money and support will come soon. Thank You, Pray, and keep reading our combined blogs!!
<www.therenderfam.blogspot.com>
All this seems like the typical donate to children add, but its the secrets of a town that truly make this place in need. Most parents hide in their shacks and flats leaving their children to fend for themselves while they binge on Tik. Tik is crystal methamphetamine, it is the main drug of abuse in Cape Town area, even when alcohol is included. It is highly addictive and creates long term side effects including anxiety, depression, suicide, violent behavior, etc. Alcohol and weed are also widely abused in Ocean View; people lost inside themselves. All these elements lead to naughty behavior beginning at an unbelievably young age, and abuse amongst each other. Abuse is either seen by them or has been inflicted upon them, causing them to return the treatment to others. Kids grow up beating, raping, stealing, and abusing substances here and it is looked upon as normal. its not a matter of if these things will happen, its just a matter of when. Even when mothers strain to support and protect their children, it seems unavoidable.
The first thing you want to do when you come across another case is be angry, angry and the perpetrator when you see the sorrow in the victims eyes. You can't though, because you know it has to have been influenced upon them. Overwhelming is an understatement, however, nothing is too much for our Lord. To see the hope in each child build, and to see them smile bigger than you've ever seen is enough to know every little bit matters. BUT more is needed....
The dream is to have safe houses for these children being abused, especially the special needs children, and the children living with their perpetrators. An escape from the slum that has kept them in the vicious cycle of the generations before. Ideally a compound sort of idea, property with a couple safe houses. Split between more permanent residences, and some for temporary relief. To give them love, encouragement, skills, knowledge of the potential of life! How amazing is the dream we have to give special needs kids a place to run around freely in safety, and abused children won't be scared to build relationships. Hopefully giving the proper nutrient filled diets that they have been lacking, to escape the visual influence of a culture so corrupt.
More information on how to help us raise money and support will come soon. Thank You, Pray, and keep reading our combined blogs!!
<www.therenderfam.blogspot.com>
Saturday, 20 July 2013
My Heart is Sore.
Im still clenching my teeth. I've never seen my sweet "Timmy" like this before.. crying none stop. We were supposed to spend the day together with the fam at the beach or the park. We drove into the township, excited to see Timmy, however once we arrived at the safe house, we were informed that his mum had taken him. The story told was that he needed a check up at the hospital a good ways away. We decided to visit, at least to give them a ride home, though half way there we get a call. The below house girls tell us that Timmy is there, looking for us. Once we arrive we instantly see something is wrong. We are accustom to Timmy running up to us excited for the adventure ahead of him, today he is sullen. We attempt to talk with him, all he says is he is afraid. Timmy loves riding in the car and chocolate cake, so we set on our way to the mall. On the way there we continue to ask him why he still is crying, what is scaring him; then he tells us... in his own words, what happened last time, happened again. His mum had left him at the flat she lives (where he is being sexually abused) and goes to "her friends shack" (most likely to get drunk from personal encounters with her) and it is then that he is again assaulted.
We take immediate action, calling everyone we can think to help us. We end up heading to the police station. we are there for 3 or so hours, trying to have Timmy tell the legal councilors what he told us.... this was difficult. finally after 2&1/2 hours he talks.
Now we head to the hospital, at this point every time Timmy sits down its in my lap with his head on my chest. He falls asleep this way quite easily. I can't help but feel sadness and love for the 12 year old boy huddled up on my arms again my chest. Timmy thinks like a 5 year old and has been through more than any 12 year old should have. I'm comforted by the fact that he feels safe in my arms, but i know this can't always be where he is. I really wish i could take him.
He won't eat, not even his favorite meal... before or after the exam. again he sits in my lap all the way to the safe house.
Until tomorrow Timmy.
- MsSpeaker
We take immediate action, calling everyone we can think to help us. We end up heading to the police station. we are there for 3 or so hours, trying to have Timmy tell the legal councilors what he told us.... this was difficult. finally after 2&1/2 hours he talks.
Now we head to the hospital, at this point every time Timmy sits down its in my lap with his head on my chest. He falls asleep this way quite easily. I can't help but feel sadness and love for the 12 year old boy huddled up on my arms again my chest. Timmy thinks like a 5 year old and has been through more than any 12 year old should have. I'm comforted by the fact that he feels safe in my arms, but i know this can't always be where he is. I really wish i could take him.
He won't eat, not even his favorite meal... before or after the exam. again he sits in my lap all the way to the safe house.
Until tomorrow Timmy.
- MsSpeaker
Friday, 19 July 2013
South Africa!!
I arrived in Cape Town, ZA at 23:30pm June 27th 2013. The Renders came to fetch me and invite me into their everyday life for two months! I am working with Shelby in Ocean View township, and here are some previous postings since i have been here....
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/this-4th-of-july-has-been-no-holiday.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-morning-after.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/timmy-week-2.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-meeting.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/this-4th-of-july-has-been-no-holiday.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-morning-after.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/timmy-week-2.html
http://therenderfam.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-meeting.html
Expectations
I am already sad to leave this place and these people. I expect to come back, we kinda plan like I am moving here... I would love to. I will need a year to go back to Cali and get a job to make money and get support and of course my sweet puppy love. A safe house is in dire need in this place. There are none, and I feel a moving in my spirit that this is the direction to go. I will miss my Timmy and other boys from oceanview. Never thought this is where I would end up, but that's the way God loves to work ^_^
- MsSpeaker Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- MsSpeaker Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Life is perspective
This is my first post... Lets see how this goes! Let me start by saying South Africa, like all missionary trips has been life changing. For the last 3 weeks there are a few stories at therenderfam.blogspot.com. And as of tomorrow I will begin with how I see things and what I have been apart of.
Independence day is not a holiday here. No day off, no fireworks, no BBQ.
I went to work as normal. We meet for prayer every day at 9 AM. Some days there are 20, some days there are 4. Today there were 4. We spent time in prayer. I remember asking God to break my heart for what breaks His. Little did I know, not only would he break my heart, but he would show me what breaks His. It is literally almost too difficult to even speak about.
I don't blog a lot, ok hardly ever almost never. Much of what I do is very confidential and also very difficult to even speak about. My hope is that by writing this will help me process. Maybe, prayerfully, maybe someone may even be able to offer some advice. I won't mention actual names. I will for the sake of clarity give fictitious names to the people in my story.
I have started doing some volunteer work for the "yellow house". There are many groups that work out of this particular house. YWAM, All Nations, Baby Safe and a few independents. This house is located in the heart of Ocean View, near the flats. Very similar to the projects or other government style housing that you may be familiar with. The yellow house specializes in dealing with victims of sexual assault. Girls, boys, families, etc. But even more than that we deal with at risk youth of all types, ages, and sizes. We are there for crisis intervention. Each money we meet, pray, and talk about what's happening. Make a plan for who we need to see and then hit the streets. Meeting and praying with people along the way.
Often times, the yellow house we become a hang out for the children who live close to it. Especially when they notice certain peoples cars outside. We don't normally mind them playing in the garden, but sometimes they can get up to mischief. Yesterday some boys ended up on the roof of the house which was a big no-no, as well as starting fires and attempting to smoke different bushes out of the garden. Again, just being naughty.
We had finished praying and I had a client that came to the house for a 10:30 meeting. Another colleague also had a meeting happening in the kitchen. I noticed 3 young boys (10-12) came into the yard. I recognized a few of them from the day before. After a while I thought it was time for me to go and check on them and see what they were up to. I assumed the worst, probably smoking. Much to my shock, as I came around the corner, 1 kids was naked and pulling up his pants, I looked around him and saw the other 2 children engaged in the act of sexual molestation. All 3 participants were boys. I shouted and the 2 perpetrators quickly ran off before I could catch them. I went back to find the victim sitting on the wall of the property. Not knowing if he should jump and run or come back. I called him off the wall and asked him to come inside.
We chatted with him briefly about this not being ok. He told us that it has happened before, multiple times. I also learned that he also goes to a special school for the mentally challenged. He told us he was 8, but I learned later he was actually 12. I asked if he would like us to discuss this with his mom and he said yes. We couldn't find her and at the moment I had another client in the living room that I needed to get to. Oddly enough this other client is here for help in dealing with own 9 year old and 6 year old boys that had been molested by his peers. I told Timmy that I would make a few phone calls and come find him later.
After finishing up with my other client. I made a stop at the police station. Nothing could be done on this front without the parent. She was the only one that could file the charge. Next I head to social services where the lady I need to speak with is gone for the after noon. I head back to Timmy's house (victim). Hoping to find out more information on the mother in the hopes that I can get a hold of her and return to the police station.
She is still not home. The lady says try again after 5 oclock. As I am preparing to leave, I notice a picture on the wall. I asked who is this? That's my son Larry (perpetrator). Really? Larry was the one I saw molesting Timmy. I told her I saw him with Timmy. Yes I know but he said he wasn't the one doing anything, it was Wally (his friend). I said yes, Wally was there, but I saw Timmy with my eyes and explained to her what I saw. She was mad now. Mad at me or Larry or Timmy, I did not know, but she was mad. She left the house in a huff looking for the boys. I followed her. We found Larry in the library playing games. She brought him home. On the way we found Timmy and she brought him home. Some how when we got there, Wally was there as well.
Its important to remember that Timmy is mentally handicapped. As Larry's mother begins to question Timmy, he begins to laugh. She yells. This isn't funny. Don't laugh, why do you always laugh? Much of the conversation was in Afrikaans, which I don't understand. But I could tell both other boys were denying everything and blaming Timmy. Wally told me he was just going pee. Lots of finger pointing and lots of shouting.
Enough. I had enough. I know what I saw and I know who was doing what. I said I am taking Timmy with me. You can do what you want with your child and with Wally, but it is not safe for Timmy to be here. So I took Timmy and left.
I went back to the social workers office. Now they were closed for lunch. I went to one of the holiday clubs that was happening at the local Methodist church. I knew I could get some lunch for Timmy and maybe some answers as to what to do next. I was told that I did the right thing and now just had to wait for a social worker to come back after lunch. Then they would have to get involved and do something.
Speaking of lunch, I was hungry. Still had time to kill before the social workers were back. We went to the mall and grabbed some lunch.
We went back to social services. I met with the social worker. She knew Timmy and had worked with him several years prior to this. I told her the story, what I had seen, what I was told, and that he was living with his perpetrator. She said that there was no question that he needed to be removed, the question was whether or not she could find somewhere to take him. Dealing with older kids, twelve and up, plus his special needs would make it difficult. She asked if I could keep him for an hour while she made some calls.
I took him home. I fought the urge at first, but its too difficult to discuss these things with my wife without her knowing the faces. I also fight the urge of taking things home with me, but I felt like it was the right thing. A dog to lick his face, kids to give him high 5's. Not knowing what he's done, but just to show him love. Even Finley hugged his leg. He tried riding bikes. Took pictures on our phones. Took turns following different ones of us around. He is a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 7-8 year old with the same mental capacity. He says Yes to everything. Not knowing if he doesn't understand or just doesn't listen. But I believe him. I saw what happened. I believe him when he tells me this isn't the first time. He wants help. I tell him that we are trying to find a place for him to stay that will be safe. He said he doesn't want to play with Larry anymore. I think thats a good idea.
Back to Social Services. One of the teachers from his school said he would take Timmy. She will meet with the mother in the morning to see how to move forward. The only place for Timmy she says will be an institution. More than likely he would also be a victim there. So she says do you send him away to be molested by strangers or leave him home to be molested by people he knows? I said that both options suck and I don't like either one. She agrees, but says that's whats available.
For now, I know he can sleep safe tonight. Not sure how long it will last. I ask if he's ok. He manages a smile. I tell him I will find him tomorrow. We walk out to the car to fetch his cool drink and chips. We all say goodbye. He doesn't want to go. Slowly walks away. Two steps, turns around. Two steps, turns around. Sheesh this is harder than saying goodbye at camp. I roll down the window to say again I will see him tomorrow. I want him to know. I want him to know so much....He takes two more steps turns around. He reaches the door and wont go inside. Just watches as I drive away.
I took with me a letter that Social services asked me to drop by his house for his mother. Requesting that she come by tomorrow for a meeting. They told me she would be home at 5. I go back at 6. She's not there. But she is near by, so I go on a search. Everyone has seen her but doesn't know where she is. I recruit a friend who knows her to help me find her. We drive around. There she is. "You looking for me?" "Where's Timmy?" She's drunk. I can smell it. I tell her he is safe and I don't know where. She asks again. I tell her she must come by tomorrow to speak to social services. She doesn't even ask why he's been taken by social services. I don't try to explain. She walks away. She doesn't look back.
On a day where we, as Americans, celebrate Freedom and Independence I was surrounded by bondage. Something that is all to common here.
(We are finding that peer on peer molestation is a huge problem in Ocean View. In just 4 days I know of 3 different new cases. I know that social services is doing all they can and currently have a huge back log of cases and dozens of children that need to be removed. The problem at this stage is there is no where for them to go. The victims become perpetrators and the cycle continues. There has to be a better way.)
This 4th of July has been no Holiday!
Independence day is not a holiday here. No day off, no fireworks, no BBQ.
I went to work as normal. We meet for prayer every day at 9 AM. Some days there are 20, some days there are 4. Today there were 4. We spent time in prayer. I remember asking God to break my heart for what breaks His. Little did I know, not only would he break my heart, but he would show me what breaks His. It is literally almost too difficult to even speak about.
I don't blog a lot, ok hardly ever almost never. Much of what I do is very confidential and also very difficult to even speak about. My hope is that by writing this will help me process. Maybe, prayerfully, maybe someone may even be able to offer some advice. I won't mention actual names. I will for the sake of clarity give fictitious names to the people in my story.
I have started doing some volunteer work for the "yellow house". There are many groups that work out of this particular house. YWAM, All Nations, Baby Safe and a few independents. This house is located in the heart of Ocean View, near the flats. Very similar to the projects or other government style housing that you may be familiar with. The yellow house specializes in dealing with victims of sexual assault. Girls, boys, families, etc. But even more than that we deal with at risk youth of all types, ages, and sizes. We are there for crisis intervention. Each money we meet, pray, and talk about what's happening. Make a plan for who we need to see and then hit the streets. Meeting and praying with people along the way.
Often times, the yellow house we become a hang out for the children who live close to it. Especially when they notice certain peoples cars outside. We don't normally mind them playing in the garden, but sometimes they can get up to mischief. Yesterday some boys ended up on the roof of the house which was a big no-no, as well as starting fires and attempting to smoke different bushes out of the garden. Again, just being naughty.
We had finished praying and I had a client that came to the house for a 10:30 meeting. Another colleague also had a meeting happening in the kitchen. I noticed 3 young boys (10-12) came into the yard. I recognized a few of them from the day before. After a while I thought it was time for me to go and check on them and see what they were up to. I assumed the worst, probably smoking. Much to my shock, as I came around the corner, 1 kids was naked and pulling up his pants, I looked around him and saw the other 2 children engaged in the act of sexual molestation. All 3 participants were boys. I shouted and the 2 perpetrators quickly ran off before I could catch them. I went back to find the victim sitting on the wall of the property. Not knowing if he should jump and run or come back. I called him off the wall and asked him to come inside.
We chatted with him briefly about this not being ok. He told us that it has happened before, multiple times. I also learned that he also goes to a special school for the mentally challenged. He told us he was 8, but I learned later he was actually 12. I asked if he would like us to discuss this with his mom and he said yes. We couldn't find her and at the moment I had another client in the living room that I needed to get to. Oddly enough this other client is here for help in dealing with own 9 year old and 6 year old boys that had been molested by his peers. I told Timmy that I would make a few phone calls and come find him later.
After finishing up with my other client. I made a stop at the police station. Nothing could be done on this front without the parent. She was the only one that could file the charge. Next I head to social services where the lady I need to speak with is gone for the after noon. I head back to Timmy's house (victim). Hoping to find out more information on the mother in the hopes that I can get a hold of her and return to the police station.
She is still not home. The lady says try again after 5 oclock. As I am preparing to leave, I notice a picture on the wall. I asked who is this? That's my son Larry (perpetrator). Really? Larry was the one I saw molesting Timmy. I told her I saw him with Timmy. Yes I know but he said he wasn't the one doing anything, it was Wally (his friend). I said yes, Wally was there, but I saw Timmy with my eyes and explained to her what I saw. She was mad now. Mad at me or Larry or Timmy, I did not know, but she was mad. She left the house in a huff looking for the boys. I followed her. We found Larry in the library playing games. She brought him home. On the way we found Timmy and she brought him home. Some how when we got there, Wally was there as well.
Its important to remember that Timmy is mentally handicapped. As Larry's mother begins to question Timmy, he begins to laugh. She yells. This isn't funny. Don't laugh, why do you always laugh? Much of the conversation was in Afrikaans, which I don't understand. But I could tell both other boys were denying everything and blaming Timmy. Wally told me he was just going pee. Lots of finger pointing and lots of shouting.
Enough. I had enough. I know what I saw and I know who was doing what. I said I am taking Timmy with me. You can do what you want with your child and with Wally, but it is not safe for Timmy to be here. So I took Timmy and left.
I went back to the social workers office. Now they were closed for lunch. I went to one of the holiday clubs that was happening at the local Methodist church. I knew I could get some lunch for Timmy and maybe some answers as to what to do next. I was told that I did the right thing and now just had to wait for a social worker to come back after lunch. Then they would have to get involved and do something.
Speaking of lunch, I was hungry. Still had time to kill before the social workers were back. We went to the mall and grabbed some lunch.
We went back to social services. I met with the social worker. She knew Timmy and had worked with him several years prior to this. I told her the story, what I had seen, what I was told, and that he was living with his perpetrator. She said that there was no question that he needed to be removed, the question was whether or not she could find somewhere to take him. Dealing with older kids, twelve and up, plus his special needs would make it difficult. She asked if I could keep him for an hour while she made some calls.
I took him home. I fought the urge at first, but its too difficult to discuss these things with my wife without her knowing the faces. I also fight the urge of taking things home with me, but I felt like it was the right thing. A dog to lick his face, kids to give him high 5's. Not knowing what he's done, but just to show him love. Even Finley hugged his leg. He tried riding bikes. Took pictures on our phones. Took turns following different ones of us around. He is a 12 year old trapped in the body of a 7-8 year old with the same mental capacity. He says Yes to everything. Not knowing if he doesn't understand or just doesn't listen. But I believe him. I saw what happened. I believe him when he tells me this isn't the first time. He wants help. I tell him that we are trying to find a place for him to stay that will be safe. He said he doesn't want to play with Larry anymore. I think thats a good idea.
Back to Social Services. One of the teachers from his school said he would take Timmy. She will meet with the mother in the morning to see how to move forward. The only place for Timmy she says will be an institution. More than likely he would also be a victim there. So she says do you send him away to be molested by strangers or leave him home to be molested by people he knows? I said that both options suck and I don't like either one. She agrees, but says that's whats available.
For now, I know he can sleep safe tonight. Not sure how long it will last. I ask if he's ok. He manages a smile. I tell him I will find him tomorrow. We walk out to the car to fetch his cool drink and chips. We all say goodbye. He doesn't want to go. Slowly walks away. Two steps, turns around. Two steps, turns around. Sheesh this is harder than saying goodbye at camp. I roll down the window to say again I will see him tomorrow. I want him to know. I want him to know so much....He takes two more steps turns around. He reaches the door and wont go inside. Just watches as I drive away.
I took with me a letter that Social services asked me to drop by his house for his mother. Requesting that she come by tomorrow for a meeting. They told me she would be home at 5. I go back at 6. She's not there. But she is near by, so I go on a search. Everyone has seen her but doesn't know where she is. I recruit a friend who knows her to help me find her. We drive around. There she is. "You looking for me?" "Where's Timmy?" She's drunk. I can smell it. I tell her he is safe and I don't know where. She asks again. I tell her she must come by tomorrow to speak to social services. She doesn't even ask why he's been taken by social services. I don't try to explain. She walks away. She doesn't look back.
On a day where we, as Americans, celebrate Freedom and Independence I was surrounded by bondage. Something that is all to common here.
(We are finding that peer on peer molestation is a huge problem in Ocean View. In just 4 days I know of 3 different new cases. I know that social services is doing all they can and currently have a huge back log of cases and dozens of children that need to be removed. The problem at this stage is there is no where for them to go. The victims become perpetrators and the cycle continues. There has to be a better way.)
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